How To Love Your Life Is The Most Important Question You Can Ask | LaRae Quy

LaRae Quy
7 min readJul 6, 2020

Before. Hi-tech companies flew recent hires to Silicon Valley, the promised land of in-house gourmet cafeterias, gyms, Zumba classes, hair salons, and on-site laundry.

Now. Employees look for a balance between a cool job with the conveniences or living according to one’s conscience.

Before. People were obsessed with high salaries, big cars, and new houses.

Now. Waning interest in high-tech jobs and a growing interest in a company’s moral and ethical qualities.

In times of crisis, it’s natural to question the importance of our work, and how to improve our life. When confronted with a crisis, the ground beneath us shifts. It’s time to think about what’s important. It’s no longer just about what makes us happy, but to go deeper and look for an answer to, “What was I meant to do in life?” We’re forced to stop and think about our lives.

This is also the time when something called integrity sneaks into our subconscious. Once we expect more from both ourselves and our employers, the ground shifts again because we understand that our purpose needs to be marked with a moral code.

Ethics provides us with a moral map, a framework of behavior we can use to navigate our way through tough times. Ethicist Christopher Gilbert uses a ladder metaphor to describe ethics:

  • On the lowest rung, you think only of yourself.
  • On the middle rung, you think of how a decision can affect others.
  • On the highest rung, you wonder how every choice impacts all affected by it.

Ethics offers a way for people with integrity to think about their moral behavior. For those who stay on the lowest rung, they’ve chosen to stay in first grade. We can’t fix stupid, though, and there are lots of folks who still think it’s all about them, even on their deathbed. And then we wonder why so many old people die with a bitter and withered heart?

How to love your life is the most important question you can ask of yourself because it requires you to start with an ethical, moral code that defines everything you value as right and good. A moral code also means you’ve left behind selfish behavior and…



LaRae Quy

Former counterintelligence FBI agent | Mental Toughness Center | Consultant | Speaker | Author: Secrets of A Strong Mind, & Mental Toughness for Women Leaders