Member-only story
The Compelling Importance Of New Beginnings To Get The Best In life
I felt a sinking feeling in my gut as I drove into the parking garage, and it was happening more and more. A job that had once invigorated me and filled me with eagerness now produced a heaviness inside that I could no longer ignore.
As a new FBI agent out of the Academy, I was passionate about my mission and always pushed ahead. But, almost 25 years later, I had to admit I no longer felt the strong drive to show up at work and gear up for another day. The drive had been replaced by a heaviness that stripped away my motivation.
When I got home one day after work, I went for a long walk. I needed to think. I knew that the noise of activity around me didn’t allow me to pause. But I also realized that if I let myself think deeply, a few thoughts would bubble up that I didn’t want to acknowledge.
I needed to get out of my own way.
I was a performer, and throughout my career, placed great importance on achieving things. I had a good run as an FBI agent working counterintelligence and espionage cases, but something inside had shifted. I needed something to end before I could start something new.
My FBI career represented safety and comfort, but once I allowed myself to explore deep longings that I’d experienced since childhood, the…
